Bowen Bulletin

In my last column, I said that BC Ferries treats their clients on minor runs with very thinly veiled contempt. Afterwards I wondered if maybe that statement was a little too harsh so I looked at their recent policy change that requires cars to arrive five minutes before the scheduled departure time and walk on passengers three minutes early. I asked myself how this policy change would have been handled if BC Ferries considered us important clients that they were afraid of losing. In that never-never land their communication might read something like this:

We are pleased to announce today that our new Super Class ferries have arrived and started their run from Horseshoe Bay to Nanaimo. While this is a very positive addition to our fleet it will present some scheduling challenges. As you have probably noticed, everything works very well at Horseshoe Bay until one ferry encounters an unforeseen problem. On busy days this problem can cascade until all of the ferries using the terminal are thrown off of schedule.
Coincidentally; the new propulsion legs have now been installed on the Queen of Capilano. It can now reliably make the crossing from Bowen Island in seventeen minutes. Our on-time statistics have never been better. In an effort to maintain these numbers during the busy summer period; we are proposing a new approach which will give us greater flexibility in timing our arrivals and departure in Horseshoe Bay. To that end, we are making a minor modification to our scheduled departure from Bowen Island. It will now be five minutes earlier. However, we will attempt to load any walk-on passengers even if they are a couple of minutes late.

To clarify – The morning sailings will now depart Bowen at 25 minutes past the hour and the afternoon sailings will depart at five minutes to the hour. Departure times from Horseshoe Bay remain the same but ticket sales still stop five minutes before the scheduled departure time. At the end of the summer season, we will review the on-time performance records to see if this change has had a positive impact. Thank you for your understanding. We invite your comments.

Of course this type of approach is clearly impossible under the current management. Instead, they send out an announcement demanding that we be early and for those who missed the announcement, they send some poor deckhand to the top of the ramp to tell the waiting passengers to get lost.

But let’s go back to never-never land. It’s so friendly and sane there. Wouldn’t this be a nice announcement?

We are pleased to announce today that plans are currently being finalized to construct a new ferry terminal at Snug Cove. The need for a new terminal was first recognized in 1992. The preliminary engineering assessment was completed in 2002 and our engineers are now working with the Municipal Engineering Department to finalize plans to provide an indoor waiting area for up to 200 people and an overhead walkway to provide safe protected passenger loading and unloading. At the same time, the 400 metres of Government Road from the ferry slip to Cardena Road will be reconfigured to expedite loading and provide a safe passage for walk-on passengers. We would like to thank our clients on Bowen Island for their long suffering and patience.

This is fun. How about this one?

We are pleased to announce today a major upgrade to the Queen of Capilano. The ferry has been serving Bowen Island since 1992. In 2002 we promised the good people of Bowen Island a new larger ferry. However, in 2005 our beloved president Mr. Hahn was heartbroken when he was forced to announce that the new ferry promised for the Bowen run would have to be deployed elsewhere.

We trust that today’s announcement represents a timely and cost effective alternative. We will be adding a fixed mezzanine deck on the Queen of Capilano’s starboard side. The access ramps will reduce the parking on the main car deck by six spaces. However the mezzanine will add 30 spaces.

In a joint effort with the Bowen Island Municipality, we have decided to dedicate the mezzanine to small vehicles only. This will mean that the effective capacity of the mezzanine will be in the order of 40 smaller cars (under 12 feet in length). Our intent is to greatly reduce the number of small cars overloaded. Our hope is that this will encourage commuters to purchase smaller cars which will have the effect of increasing the number of commuters that the ferry can accommodate while reducing greenhouse gas emissions. In conjunction with this initiative, we are announcing a $3.00 discount for small cars. This is a revenue neutral plan in that the smaller the cars are the more we can fit on the boat.

Alas, this is all just pretend so don’t get your hopes up.